Anime Family Feud!
by Rogue Fox
Summary: What happens when you put two anime "families" head to head in a battle of the wits? Do you really wanna know? Hysteria, what else?


Anime Family Feud!  
  
1  
  
2 Part One  
  
DT: Hello, and welcome to the well known, all star, super-de-duper, (Barney Style, jump twirl and everything,) Awesome, soooo cool, Anime Family Feud!  
  
Audience: clap.  
  
DT: (Glares at audience with demon eyes,)  
  
Audience: Yay! Wahoo! Bravo!  
  
DT's big sis, Rogue Fox: Whoopee.  
  
DT: Put a sock in it, sis. That's better. Now for the very first episode of Anime Family Feud! I see we have a question.  
  
Little kid in audience: How is this show well known, all star, super-de- duper, awesome, and cool when this is the first episode?  
  
DT: (Sweatdrop.) Uh……Uh…. Moving on! The first family is the Escaflowne Family, consisting of Van,  
  
Van: Step Back or I'll kick your ::CENSORED::  
  
DT: Hey! This is a Rated G show here! Next we have Hitomi,  
  
Hitomi: I don't know him. I swear I don't know him.  
  
DT: And here I thought you two were going out.  
  
RF: THEY ARE NOT!!  
  
Hitomi: (Looking in other direction)  
  
DT: Next we have this pyro freak, Dilandau, also known as Dill-Pickles. (Nickname copyright to Rogue Fox, my big sister.)  
  
Dill-Pickles: (Burning the podium,) Leave me alone, I know what I'm doing.  
  
DT: You're payin' for that. Next we have Folken.  
  
Folken: (pressing buzzer thingie) I can get used to this…  
  
DT: Okaaay.. And for the opposing family, we have Digimon, Season Two! First we have Tai!  
  
Tai: One minute I'm in the Digital World, the next I'm here with these wackos. Where the ::CENSORED:: is this?  
  
DT: Well, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed?  
  
(All members of both families raise hands)  
  
DT: (sweatdrop) Riiiiiight…. Next we have Davis! Otherwise known as Dorkie.  
  
Davis: (Talking to random girl from audience, who is quite frightened.) Hey, you like the goggles?  
  
DT: ::AHEM!!!!::  
  
Davis: (turns to see very mad, demon version of DT) Oopsies.  
  
DT: Last I checked, we're doing Family Feud, not the Dating Game!  
  
Davis: Dang it. I knew I should have made that left turn on Cherry Lane.  
  
DT: Do these kids even stand a chance against Esca? (Sees Folken playing with buzzer) Probably. Especially with our next contestant, Izzy! (DT looks to podium, but Izzy has taken a coffee break.) IZZY! GET YOUR ::CENSORED:: ::CENSORED:: DOWN HERE!  
  
Van: (whispers to Hitomi) What happened to the G rating?  
  
Hitomi: He does seem to be over-using the censor.  
  
Izzy: I was upgrading my computer! I had to- (blurts out complicated math stuff that confuses everyone.)  
  
All Esca Family: O.o;;;  
  
DT: On to the next contestant, Cody!………. Cody? Hellloooo? Cody?……. Where the ::CENSORED:: is he?  
  
Cody: (waving hand above podium which is hiding his short self) I'm down here!  
  
DT: Someone get a ::CENSORED: stool for him!  
  
Dill-Pickles: Stop that! My ears are sensitive!  
  
DT: I need a really strong coffee….  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
DT: Speaking of which, time to lay the law of the land! In short, I'm talking so pay attention or I'll use rules you don't understand later.  
  
(All anime characters shut up and look at DT fearfully.)  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
Van: (grabs buzzer and breaks it)  
  
Folken: Hey! That was my new toy! You're always breaking my toys!  
  
Van: Grow up!  
  
Folken: (gives Van all-powerful big brother death glare.)  
  
DT: And that's all there is to it!  
  
Van and Folken: Ahhh! Wait, we didn't hear you!  
  
DT: Well, you're up a creek without a paddle, now aren't ya? Now I'll have to repeat myself, you imbecile!  
  
Folken: That's my word, you imbecile!  
  
DT: (gives Folken demon glare)  
  
Folken: (sweatdrop and salutes with metal arm. Unfortunately, the metal arm hits his head a little too hard and he drops backward.)  
  
Everyone else: O.o  
  
DT: Back to the rules, and this time…… YOU ::CENSORED:: BETTER LISTEN!!!!  
  
Folken and Van: Yes master!  
  
DT: That's the effect I like to have on people. ^_^ Anyhoo, this Family Feud is somewhat warped because yours truly is in control. Ever seen the show? I haven't.  
  
All family members: O.o;;;  
  
Tai: (whispers to Cody) We're on a show that's lead by a complete amateur.  
  
Cody: We're all gonna die.  
  
(Everyone nods in agreement.)  
  
DT: Okie dokie. What we do is I give you a category, like say Sports for instance. Then you would have to name a popular sport and see if it's up on that big screen thingie. (points to big screen thingie over his head with the category Sports at the top and two rows of four slots underneath that. Only five rows have numbers on them, meaning there are only five possible answers.) If it is, then you get some points, I tell you how many. If it's not, then the category goes to the other family. Now this is where things get warped… I think. At the end of each round, which is one category long, there will be a lightning punishment round.  
  
(All anime characters cower in fear as DT smiles evilly.)  
  
DT: If you get it right, you get the amount of points you bet in the beginning of the round. Get it wrong, and you will suffer punishments concocted by……….ME! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!! Any questions? Oh, and before certain people ask (glares pointedly at the more greedy family members) the prize for the winning family is………… you'll find out later.  
  
All anime characters: (cower in fear and suspense)  
  
DT: Commencing Round 1! The category is……Classic Pet Names! (points to big screen thingie. Four numbers come up on the slots) Guess there are four answers. And just cause I'm in a good mood today, both families will start at –1000.  
  
Both families: WHAT?!?!?!  
  
DT: Don't make me make it two thousand. Okie dokie, I pick Esca family to go first cause I like them better.  
  
Digimon Family: HEY!  
  
DT: Shuddup. Aight, who's first in the line, Esca?  
  
(All Esca points to Van)  
  
Van: Aw, man.  
  
Lone voice in audience: I luv you, my precious Van!  
  
Van: It's Rogue Fox! (Hides behind DT.) Run! How'd she find me! Run for the hills!  
  
RF: Hey! I do it out of love!  
  
Van: That's the bad thing, you imbecile.  
  
Folken: That's my word, you imbecile!  
  
New Buzzer that replaced the one Van broke: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!  
  
RF: Hey, you liked me well enough when I gave you that sword for your b- day!  
  
Van: …… Well, uh…..  
  
Hitomi: (glares at Van)  
  
Van: Oh man.  
  
DT: This isn't the Dating Game! Let's get on with it! Van, the category is Classic Pet names, so gimme something!  
  
Van:…..Um….  
  
Dill-Pickles: I had a puppy name Fluffy once! I'm not sure what happened to him. Jajuka said he ran away. (Tear) I miss him….  
  
Van: For once he said something half-way intelligent. Fluffy!  
  
DT: Okay, show me Fluffy!  
  
Big screen thingie: Ding! (Fluffy turns up on four)  
  
DT: Good job! You got your family seven points!  
  
Van: I'm good.  
  
RF: YAY!!! GREAT JOB VAN!  
  
DT: Next, Hitomi? What's a classical dog name?  
  
Hitomi: My friend has a dog named Emily.  
  
DT: Show me Emily!  
  
Big screen thingie: (Big X turns up on it)  
  
DT: Oh, I'm sorry. The category goes to Dill-Pickles  
  
!  
  
RF: YOU SUCK HITOMI! YOU SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN VAN MORE POINTS YOU ::CENSORED::  
  
Dill-pickles: My turn! Myturnmyturnmyturnmyturn!  
  
DT: Go ahead Dill-Pickles.  
  
Dill-Pickles: Aight! I say that Butch is a good doggie name!  
  
Butch from Pokemon: I am not a dog!  
  
Dill-Pickles: You certainly sound like one.  
  
RF: OHMYGOD! HE SAID SOMETHING INTELLIGENT!!!!!!!!!  
  
Dill-Pickles: (is very proud until something occurs to him) Hey, what's so abnormal about that?  
  
DT: Ooookay, gimme Butch!  
  
Big screen thingie: BUZZZZZZ! (big x shows up.)  
  
Dill-Pickles: Phooey.  
  
DT: And next up we have Folken!  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
DT: Stop that. What's a Classic Pet Name?  
  
Folken: I had a kitty named Mr. Tinkles, but I don't think that's very classic. So, how about……Rex?  
  
DT: Show me Rex!  
  
Big screen thingie: DING! (Rex turns up on Two!)  
  
RF: YAY! MORE POINTS FOR VAN!!!!  
  
Van: Oh, please save me……  
  
Digimon Family: Booo!  
  
Esca Family: Shuddup! You're just jealous! (stick tongues out and pull on lower eyelids.)  
  
DT: Esca family gets 24 points cause I said so. Alright, Van, you're up again.  
  
RF: YAY! GO VAN!  
  
Van: (big sweatdrop)  
  
Hitomi: I hope you like your fan club.  
  
RF: Dang right he does.  
  
Hitomi: Back off!  
  
RF: Make me!  
  
Van: Ladies, please, there's plenty of me to go around. (bigger sweatdrop.)  
  
Dill-Pickles: I wish I had his problem.  
  
Van: No, you really don't.  
  
DT: Just gimme a stinkin' pet name!  
  
Van: Ummm… Snowball?  
  
RF: GOOD JOB VAN!  
  
Hitomi: You don't even know if he got it yet!  
  
RF: SO?!?! I'm showing moral support.  
  
Van: Have I mentioned help me?  
  
DT: Oh boy. Just show me Snowball!  
  
Big screen thingie: (big red x shows up)  
  
Digimon Family: YAY!!!!!  
  
RF: That's alright, that's okay, Van's gonna make it anyway! GO VAN! (is seen in cheerleader uniform with the little pom-poms.)  
  
Hitomi: That's pathetic.  
  
Dill-Pickles: Now look at what you've done, Fanel!  
  
RF: SHUDDUP, DILL-PICKLES!  
  
DT: I guess we move on to the Digimon Family! Tai, gimme a pet name.  
  
Tai: You know, Rogue Fox, if you really want an anime guy, I'm free on Friday…  
  
RF: (Is too busy drooling over Van to notice anything else.)  
  
Tai: Never mind. How about Spot? Hah! I'm a genius!  
  
DT: Okay, show Spot!  
  
Big screen thingie: DING! (Spot pops up on Number One)  
  
DT: Congrats! You win forty points!  
  
Digimon Family: YAY!  
  
Esca Family: (are pretending nothing's going on. Folken has had his buzzer taken away and is pouting.)  
  
DT: Next is Davis, which has gone to the Dating world again.  
  
Davis: (Talking to same girl as before, which is even more terrified) I'm free on days that end with day.  
  
DT: Back off before you scare the poor thing. GIMME A ::CENCORED:: PET NAME!  
  
Families and audience: O.o;;;;  
  
Davis: Eeek!! Okay, um…. ( thirty minutes later,) Oh! I got one!  
  
Hitomi: You owe me ten bucks.  
  
Van: What?  
  
Hitomi: You bet that it would take him less then ten minutes! I said it would take him more than twenty-five minutes!  
  
Van: Didn't know he's that dumb.  
  
Izzy: That's because you don't know Davis. He doesn't even know what a (says something nobody in the room can repeat) is.  
  
Tai: I don't think anyone does.  
  
Izzy: O.o;;;; My bad.  
  
DT: SHUDDUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!(breathes in deep) NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Audience and families in total silence)  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
(not no more.)  
  
DT: (Very calm) Davis, your pet name?  
  
Davis: (Very scared) Um, Shiloh?  
  
DT: Show me Shiloh!  
  
Big screen thingie: (Big red X shows up:  
  
DT: HA! DORKIE CAN'T EVEN GIVE A REASONABLE PET NAME! I mean, uh… Sorry Davis, Shiloh is not up there. Izzy? Show them what a REAL pet name is.  
  
Izzy: This podium is very unadvanced to meet the recent technology. Want me to..  
  
DT: PET NAME! NOT ::CENSORED:: ABOUT THE ::CENSORED:: PODIUM YOU ::CENCORED::!  
  
Izzy: Lady. If it's not up there, I'm not smart.  
  
Digimon family: Gasp!  
  
DT: Apparently, this is a big bet.  
  
Izzy: Heck, yeah.  
  
DT: Show me Lady!  
  
Big screen thingie: Ding!  
  
DT: Congrats! You got twenty-five points! Let's add it all up! The Esca Family has, carry the two… Oh, wait that's a four…Oh, I take back the negative thousand, kay? Okay, they got 31 points! Yay them!  
  
Esca Family: YAY!  
  
RF: YAY VAN!  
  
Van: ^_^;;;  
  
DT: And the Digimon Family has… Oh, I hate math… Is that a three… No…Um… I got it! I'm a genius! ^_^; 1164!  
  
Izzy: I do believe you have miscalculated by a large quantity, genius.  
  
DT: I do believe that you are talking smarter than me again. I also believe I told you before the show that that's a no-no.  
  
Izzy: …. I do believe you've miscalculated again.  
  
DT: YOU SAY "I DO BELIEVE ONE MORE TIME, AND I"LL MAKE SURE YOU GO TO REMEDIAL CLASSES IN HIGHSHCOOL! By the way, remedial classes are for the not so smart (it is politically incorrect for me to say dumb people classes).  
  
Izzy: ::GASP!:: NO!!!!  
  
DT: Anyway, you guys actually have 65 points.  
  
Izzy: I believe that is correct.  
  
DT: WHAT DID I SAY-  
  
Izzy: I said "I believe", not "I do believe."  
  
Hitomi: They're saying "I do" to each other.  
  
Esca Family: ::snicker::  
  
Dill-Pickles: (stops snickering) Huh? I do believe I don't get it.  
  
Esca Family other than Dill-Pickles: v_v;;;  
  
Dill-Pickles: O_o?  
  
DT: What're you guys talking about over there?  
  
Esca Family: Nuttin!  
  
DT: So, Digimon's in the lead as we go into the lightning round. So, who's gonna come into my lair for the lightning punishment round. (laughs maniacally.) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
(All Family quake in terror)  
  
Van: I ain't goin' up there! Forget it!  
  
Dill-Pickles: I'll do it!  
  
Hitomi: I chafe under pressure!  
  
Dill-Pickles: For the sake of the family, I will go!  
  
Folken: I guess I'm the only one left.  
  
Dill-Pickles: Hey, are you people deaf or what!  
  
Folken: I'm sorry, did you say something?  
  
Dill-Pickles: v_v I feel rejected.  
  
Van: I guess Folken's going.  
  
Folken: I'm gonna die, right?  
  
All Esca Family besides Folken: Bye-bye, Folken.  
  
Van: Say hi to Mommy…  
  
Folken: Okay…  
  
Tai: (really really really fast) One-two-three-not-me!  
  
Izzy: I'm scared of DT, I need my bankie.  
  
Tai: Obviously, Izzy can't go.  
  
Izzy: I think I had an accident.  
  
Tai: (slaps hand on forehead) O_o;; Nope, can't go.  
  
Davis: For obvious reasons, I'm not going.  
  
Cody: What are your reasons?  
  
Davis: (hits hand on head, hollow sound echoes out) Need anything else?  
  
Cody: Nope. Guess it's me against him. (Looks at Folken, who is very big guy…) Lil' ol' me against that? (sees metal arm) Oooooooh dear.  
  
Tai: Dead man walking!  
  
( Cody and Folken walk up to podium. DT stands behind podium and smiles evilly. Cody tries to run for the hills, but men-in-black drag him back.)  
  
Folken: We're betting twenty-four, how about you? (glares at Cody with his best death glare. Cody makes another mad dash for freedom. MIB drag him back again.)  
  
Cody: (very jittery) Um… twenty-four… I WANT MY MOMMY!  
  
Tai: I shoulda gone… SUCK IT UP, YOU BIG BABY!  
  
DT: (In Dracula accent) It'z time to begin… Lez play zee vightning punizment vound! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (In normal voice) You're category is… (three numbers pop up) CUTE ANIME GIRLS! My opinion of them, of course. ^_^  
  
Cody: (Immediately brightens)  
  
DT: Okay…. GO!  
  
Cody: (presses buzzer surprisingly quickly) Rika, from Digimon Season three!  
  
Rika: (pops up from no where) I'd be flattered if you weren't a shrimp.  
  
Cody: That always gets in the way.  
  
DT: Show me Rika!  
  
Rika: I'm right here!  
  
DT: On the screen!  
  
Rika: Oh.  
  
Big screen thingie: BUZZZ! (big red x shows up)  
  
DT: Too bad.  
  
Cody: Well, you are cute.  
  
Rika: I know.  
  
Folken: (hits buzzer with too much force)  
  
Buzzer: BUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!  
  
Folken: I love this thing! Anyway, I met this chick at the studio lounge when we were filming the Esca movie, and her name was Belldandy… (promptly starts drooling) Shweet… Oh, she's from Oh My Goddess… I'll tell you who's a goddess…  
  
Belldandy: Oh, thank you. You're very, uh, cute too. I guess.  
  
DT: (drooling) Oh MY Goddess! Show me Belldandy! And get the lady some refreshments, will you?!  
  
Big screen thingie: DING! ( Belldandy shows up on number one0  
  
Folken: YAY!  
  
Esca Family: YAY!  
  
RF: VAN WON!  
  
Hitomi: Van didn't do anything!  
  
RF: SO?!?!  
  
Van: Can we please settle this in a civilized manner?  
  
DT: (still drooling) Wanna go get some nice tea? After all, this is my warped world, and I do rule it…  
  
Belldandy: I really need to get back to Keiichi.  
  
DT: (falling into swirling black pit) ::CENSORED:; you, Keiichi!  
  
Folken: (buzzes buzzer)  
  
Buzzer: BUZZZZZZZZZZZZ  
  
DT: You got something you wanna say? Can't you see I'm wallowing in self- pity here?  
  
Folken: I'm playing with my toy!  
  
DT: (sigh) The Esca Family wins…(sigh) And now I have to… (brightens) PUNISH THE DIGIMON FAMILY! MISERY LOVES COMPANY! (holds out hands and says the magical words) Bibady bobity boo! (sings song)  
  
All Families: O_o;;  
  
Dill-Pickles: I luv that song! ^_^ (smiles blissfully and sings along)  
  
Digimon Family: (waits for the curse to affect them)  
  
Tai: (hair falls down) Huh? (Turns away from camera for a moment) OH DEAR GOD! SHOOT ME! NOW! I'M A GIRL!  
  
DT: (snickers evilly)  
  
Davis: Hah! Nothing's happening.  
  
DT: Here, Davis! Kick this soccer ball! (throws soccer ball)  
  
Davis: (is in utter bliss as soccer ball sails toward him and soccer goal magically appears.) YAY! (Soccer ball hits him in the head) Wha? NO, TELL ME IT'S NOT TRUE! I'VE LOST MY ABILITY TO PLAY SOCCER!!!!  
  
DT: Try this football!  
  
Davis: (football hits him in the head) NO, I'VE LOST MY ABILITY TO PLAY ANY SPORT! NOOOOOOO!  
  
Cody: Hahahahahaha! (suddenly disappears)  
  
DT: (snickers evilly and talks as though he is a baaaaad actor) Oh, gee, I wonder where Cody went…  
  
Itty bitty voice that sounds remotely like Cody: I hate you, DT. I need a bigger stool. I shrank!  
  
Izzy: It appears that I'm not getting punished… (something flies out of his head, mumbling that it needs a vacation anyway and Izzy gets a blank look in his eyes. Holds up hands to his face) What're these? What am I? Who am I? I want cheese!  
  
Everyone else in the world except DT: HIS BRAIN IS GONE!  
  
In China: (says something I can't type on this keyboard) Translation: Did you hear? Izzy's brain took a vacation! (other guy faints)  
  
Tai: (in girly voice) The horror of it all! Oh my God, my voice!  
  
Cody: (laughs in itty bitty voice)  
  
Tai: Like you're one to be talking, mega shrimp!  
  
Cody: Shuddup!  
  
DT: That's what you deserve for losing! By the way, you've been eliminated from the tournament. Esca will move on to the final four!  
  
Esca: YAY!  
  
RF: YAY! I get to see Van again!  
  
Hitomi: You're still here?  
  
DT: I'm stopping it before it starts! (looks into camera) And that's it for this Episode. Tune into tomorrow for the head-to-head fight between the Pokemon Family as they duke it out with the Sailor Moon Family! Buh-bye! And now that you've read, review! Oh, and if you're wondering, the effects of my little curse will wear off in a month.  
  
Tai: REBEL!  
  
DT: bye!  
  
Tai: I GOT A DATE TONIGHT! WHAT AM I GONNA TELL SORA!  
  
Davis: I knew it! I'm telling Matt!  
  
Tai: Can this day get any worse?  
  
DT: Tomorrow's my b-day and my sissy's getting me a mallet cause she wants to be there when Van makes his next appearance.  
  
Van: v_v Yay.  
  
Tai: Me and my big mouth…….  
  
DT: So shut it! Buh-bye, folks! 


End file.
